I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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