is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
