would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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