Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
