you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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