Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
