plz talk dirty to me
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
