I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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