I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
