ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
