You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
