he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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