I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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