This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize