I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
