So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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