:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
