hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
