does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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