plz talk dirty to me
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
