Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
