He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
