FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So much rum. So many feels.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
