i think i have two assholes
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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