So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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