I hate your face
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize