$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
