I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
vagina is talking i cant
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
