I should be sponsored by Trojan
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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