angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
