would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
