Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
