I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
