so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
