my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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