so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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