You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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