I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
