when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
