When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
