I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
whose parrot is this?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
