She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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