I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
