please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize