oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
