Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
