Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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