Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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