You're my little dorito
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize