I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
