i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
