Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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