Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
