i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
