Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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