I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
