Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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