Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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