you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize