my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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