His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
