How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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