You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
