Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
