Its about making memories worth repressing
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
