bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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