:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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