1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Gay?
German.
Pity.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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