Do you still have your period?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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