Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize