420 ftw
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
