Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
